Willie McCool by Jeanne

Hi, everybody, this is William McCool. I was the pilot.

Huh, huh, huh (Guttural chuckle)

Oh yeah. Huh.

Yeah. Yeah, we have a few little fiery moments up there, that's for sure. But I'm... I'm remembering the time I came through Jeannie, which she tells me was quite a long time ago.

Her daughters had a dog that didn't like guys and... and the girls were kind of skeptical about Mom (Jeanne) doing this channeling until the dog started growling at me when I walked through the door. And then they knew that Mom was bringing in somebody cool, like Willie.

But don’t let the exterior fool you. I was kind of resigned, you know, I didn't have the full responsibility that the Commander had. Although we were so close-knit that I certainly felt a strong compulsion to see if we could fly the bird somewhere safe. But you know, I didn't have that overall riding responsibility of being the boss. And there is a difference with that. I just kind of went, "Umm. Oh shit! Okay. This is it!"

My thing was afterwards, I was really mad because I realized, as we all knew, that ground control knew we were never going to come back. Because they knew very early on that the tiles were missing and that the craft was being compromised. And of course, they wouldn't tell us, and I'm glad they didn't. But you know, catch-22. You're in bad shape if you do, and you're in bad shape if you don't, but I don't want to go there. I don't want to go there. I just would like to tell you guys that – umm, "We're screwed."

And I mean that.

Because, you know, we all have our personalities. And I'm not coming in and saying, "Oh, Llama, Llama, Llama. Divine light." I still kind of got this human part of me that's like, feels betrayed and lied to. I mean, not that I didn't believe in my religion. But, you know, it's a challenge to... umm...

You know, KC (Kalpana Chawla) had it easy because she had a much more liberal concept of life. And I was a pretty narrow-focused guy. Had to be, to be able to get things done, to be able to survive at NASA, to jump through all the hoops that they put you through, you know, kind of sell your soul to be on a shuttle. And I am not wanting to be entertaining a grudge for the rest of my eternity, then I would be in hell. But, you know, it's just a lot of really dark space out there for, you know, crappy stuff to happen. But you may not all share that because you may be far more enlightened than I am. And thank God for that.

I look at the world that my children are in. And I'm not as positive right now as probably you would expect. But then you know, again, that that's the humanity that's left with me. I'm not having the crisis of the death experience as much as I'm having the crisis of, pardon my French, but, "Oh shit. This is... this really sucks." There is a lot of darkness in the world. And I'm not telling you guys anything you don't know. And I'm not trying to be political. I'm just kind of letting you know where I am with everything.

And umm... and I'm still working on being enlightened, if that makes sense. And being, feeling a sense of "illumination," which gets bantered around quite a bit. And you know, I've had some real big arguments with Ed(gar) Mitchell over here. And... and he's just kind of shakes his head and he says, "Willie, that's not cool."

And he (Willie) goes, "Really, you're gonna say that to me?"

He goes, "Yeah, until you get it."

And so, "Okay."

So, um, you know, we do have a sense of humor over here sometimes.

And yeah, so anyway, that's kind of the part of me that's going through this, "Here I am guys, I'm identifying myself." And, you know, I know people probably thought I was the most uplifting guy in the world, and I probably was in that space before I died. Because, you know, I didn't have any reason to think otherwise. Even though I knew there was some hanky-panky going on. Umm, ah... yeah. I don’t have to say any more about that.

So, the other reason I came in is... is to tell you guys that umm, ah... I really like Burger King. (chuckle) No, I’m not. (participants laugh)

That's... that's not the issue. Yeah, I was always a smart butt. But, you know, I'm kind of putting this facade out because it's really hard for a guy to be, you know, do that "Rick thing" again. Or the "Christa experience." Women can do that. I'm sorry, women. I'm sorry. I know. But guys are like, "No. We're cool. We're cool. You know, we got this. Oh, yeah. So what? We just died. Yeah. Okay."

And so, I feel a little embarrassed about (it). I understand, it's 2000-whatever, 19? And coming in, and you know, kvetching and complaining. Ya-ya-ya. But I was told I had to, because that's the only way we're going to clear the karma of the group.

And I'm like, "Oh, Karma, karma. Karma is a bitch. And I don't care." So, you can tell that my attitude was a little hesitant to come in and talk about stuff. But when they put the screws on me and said, "Look, we'll have to do this again, in another lifetime," I said, "I'm in.  Let's do this, let's clear it up."

But I do have wonderful things to say for you (participants) guys who are far more enlightened, far more willing...

It's not easy. It's hard. And you're listening to what you think is a person you think is on the Columbia crew going, "Okay, well, I didn't know you, but okay."

And you know, that's a lot of blind trust. Which kind of surprises me. But yet, I've watched all of you long enough to know that there's nothing blind about it. You've all had a lot of experience.

What I'm going to talk about later in the weekend, here's my little teaser, are the UFO things and the aliens, my favorite subject ever. I mean that. I mean that, because we all knew.  We all knew; we all had experiences, you know. Laurel is going to tell you about her experience, and blah, blah, blah, and all that stuff. And, you know, there's just all these life forms around.

So, I'm really kind of non-religious now. Because nothing of that Christ, Jesus thing computes when you're walking and talking with aliens who have three eyes and four feet. And... and sometimes they're two inches tall. And sometimes they're 12 inches tall. And you just never know, sometimes you can fit them in your pocket. Sometimes they carry you around. So you know, nothing computes any more to what was really in the world. And you know, it's just kind of like, oh, "How do you compare that? How do you share that?"

So, that's my deal. I'm sticking to it. Never thought I would; if anybody listened to this that knew me would go, "Oh, my god. That can't possibly be him. He would never, ever." But you know, Ellison and I've talked about it a lot because he was on that "secret mission." And... and his... his experiences when he saw, you know, Gus Grissom, and, umm... the three of them that burned and... and how it changed his life, you know, and... and how it was really hard because he couldn't talk about it.

And he said, that was the hardest thing – that's not to be able to talk about it. Because he knew that he would lose his position in the astronaut field, if he talked about it. It was just kind of that silent, knowing that you just don’t open your mouth. You just don't open your mouth. You just shut up; you do the work they want you to do. You do the best you can and be quiet about it. You know?

I'd like to see Tom Hanks doing a movie about what really goes on with the astronaut corps instead of Apollo 13, you know.  But anyway, that's just my thing.

Write your questions down because umm, if you don't have any of them, then I won't tell you anything. No, just kidding. I will talk because you can tell I'm really happy about talking right now. That's probably because I was in her (Jeanne’s) bedroom last night.  (laughter) No, not for that reason. I was just sitting there while we were having this conversation.

She's going, "Get out. I need to go to sleep."

And I go, "But... But... But..."

"Get out, get out, get out, get out, get out!"

You know, she shooed all of us out. So then, I went around to Regina's room, and then I ran around to Dan's room, and they all told me to go away. So that wasn't any fun.

But I did get to take Dan (Drasin) to the ET areas. And that's why this morning when he came down for breakfast, she (Jeanne) said, "Oh, you've got all these ETs with you.  You’ve finally... Did you go to your home planet?"

You know, so not really, we had more fun than that. But that's how I'm dealing with being where I am with new information, new stuff.

Now, Rick (Husband), on the other hand, when he's not in a beautiful woman like this, he's a little more, "Okay, let's go. What are we going to do today? What are we going to go explore?" But, you know, then he had to have the "Christa experience" because somebody on the Columbia crew had to have the "Christa experience." You know, it's just a given that that's what happens. And everything I say is just stupid anyway. 

But I apologize for the inconvenience of disturbing your sleep. You know, you guys are so welcoming. It's hard to realize that, you know, I'm not physical, you know, you know what I'm saying. Anyway, I've talked too much.

Okay. All right, I'm going, I'm going.  But there will be more later. Thank you for understanding my behaviors. Maybe you don't, but thank you anyway, so thank you. Umm... Bye!